Tears of Glass
by Hunter of Artemis101
Summary: "How would her gravestone get here? It was impossible, because her whole family was...dead. Yet here it stood in the middle of a graveyard." Katherine reflects on her past, and all her mistakes. She also remembers all the times that she, the Katherine Peirce, cried. "Because it hurt. And feeling the shards of glass escape from her eyes, somehow made it all better." Rated T.


**Tears of Glass: A Vampire Dairies fanfic**

* * *

_Katerina Petrova. _

_(Katherine Peirce)_

* * *

It was carved into the grey headstone, the words were faded and scrawled out. She leaned down and rubbed her thumb among the words gingerly, almost gossamer, as if the stone was going to break in half by the slightest of touch. How did it get here? Who had put it here? This wasn't supposed to be happening... it was impossible. Her entire family was...gone...

She shuffled her hands in her pocket. Here she was, _the _Katherine Peirce, a legend amidst the supernatural almost breaking down into hysterics. The tears pricked in her eyes, somehow seeing the stone words carved into the block, made it true.

She was dead. Simple as that.

She had pushed that thought away, the moment she had hung herself from the ceiling many, many years ago. She was very much alive... at least to her she was. She was still living, breathing Katherine Peirce. Only she wasn't. She felt the pressure of her tears that she had held back for many centuries trying to finally spill.

The sadness was quickly replaced by sharp, hot, anger from the thought. And it shot through Katherine instantly, and she kicked the random stick in front of her as hard as she could. It didn't make the breaking sound she liked, but it flew like a bird over the outline of the tall, green giants above her. She could tell it sailed for many miles, but she wasn't smug nor prideful about it. Instead she felt remorseful and fatigued about well, everything.

She felt an ache stirring in her chest, and knew instantly that her humanity crawling to get out. She felt it brush against the outline of her cold hearted, malevolent self. Her humanity felt warm and kindhearted and... _good_. Just like she was before she turned. It was another pressure building upon her, and she tried her best to shove it back down.

As much as Katherine despised the thought, (and she would never admit it aloud) she was a lot like Elena Gilbert before she flipped her switch. In fact, probably almost _exactly _alike. She was just more naive than Elena when she was a human and possibly now.

She believed in love. A happy ending. A fairytale. She blinked, remembering something that she had sought to forget a long time ago...

* * *

_She felt the warm breeze stroking her cheeks, blowing through her hair. It felt oddly incredible, along with a mix of adrenaline she got from running for so long. She heard his footsteps from behind her, but they ceased the moment Katherine had turned her pace to a slow._

_"You have to chase me!" She giggles, his pace picks up but then stops again. A smile breaks out along her face, and she averts her attention back to Elijah. "You're meant to catch me." Elijah gives her a soft smile, and she can't help but smile back._

_"But if I catch you, the game will be over." Katherine pauses for a moment, her dress running amongst the grass, leaves and particles clinging onto the fabric. She doesn't care. _

_"Thank you for entertaining me."_

_Elijah smiles again, and she decides that she likes him a lot more now, despite his somewhat serious behavior. "You seemed lonely inside, so I took pity on you." Katherine sits down, smoothing her dress out her carefree mood becoming sour. _

_She sighs, "Klaus promised to spend the day with me, but he never returned home from the night..." Elijah gives her a look, one that she quite doesn't understand. "Yes, Klaus does not live by any rules but his own." _

_Because of the hostility towards his brother, she adds in quickly (to avoid any misjudgments) "He _is_ a very charming man. Hard for anyone to resist, I suppose..."_

_Elijah eyes her, confusion twinkling in his brown eyes, tinted with green. "And yet...?" _

_" I do not know why he courts me. He seems not to care about me at all." _

_She hears Elijah's soft sigh, almost as if he had been expecting this. "Many a union has been built on much less." She doesn't quite understand his wise comment, but doesn't ask about it. Instead, she pauses, her mouth open half ajar. _

_"Is it wrong... to want more?" Elijah stares at her, then takes a seat next to her easily and swiftly. "Did you have more with Trevor?" His expression was questioning, filled with yearning._

_Katherine breaths out, staring at the horizon above her. Carefully stringing her words together she responds, "Trevor believes that he loves me, but true love is not real unless it is returned. Do you agree?" Elijah bites his lip, his eyes remorseful. _

_"I do not believe in love, Katerina." She frowns, her eyes sorrow- filled. _

_"That is too sad for me to accept my lord. Life is too cruel. If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?"_

* * *

That was a time when she cried, only it was from happiness.

* * *

Money. Sex. Alcohol. Solitude. Those are many other reasons why you would want to live. Katherine snorted half heartedly at the memory. She did not believe in love, any longer. Much too much had happened for her to even feel love any more. The wind blew gently, blowing through her curly, brown hair. It was cloudy, dark and stormy. It had not rained yet, but Katherine suspected that it might.

Well, she thought. It might as well, then the weather would match my mood.

There was an unsettling feeling, as she stood in front of the headstone. It was as if someone was watching her... but the thought was ludicrous. She was a vampire, she would hear someone approaching. Yet still...

Katherine brushed the thought off, but it bothered her to allow someone to see her in her weakest state. There wasn't anyone there, she reminded herself.

She was in Germany at the time, when her long time _compelled _friend Bethany had called her up and told her to drive to the main Cemetery. She obliged and found herself face to face with her own grave.

* * *

_1473- 1472_

* * *

Her fingers once again were felt lacing around the words.

Katherine's eyes flitted to the ground. She felt something she hadn't felt in a long, long time... guilt.

She had killed Elena's brother. Fed him to Silas and she felt guilty about it. The emotion and thought was ludicrous and yet she felt the panging sensation stir to the pit of her stomach and be mixed around.

* * *

_"Elena's here now okay? Everything's going to be alright." She watched the Gilbert crouched down, next to the Bennett witch. Correction- a dying Bennett witch. Katherine clenched her teeth together tightly in annoyance and irritation. All she wanted was the cure, but this little brat had to drag things on._

_"We did it?" The witch said, blood filling her mouth. She was lying like a rag doll on the dirt floor, and her mocha skin was getting paler. Katherine's stomach rumbled from the smell of the liquid, but she had to stay on task. She had to get the cure.  
She wanted - no needed- the cure.  
Katherine grasped the little Gilbert's shoulder, a little tighter than intended, but he didn't seem to notice anything different. 'I'm better than this than I thought, Katherine mused to herself silently. "Come on, we gotta get you up." _

_"You have to help Bonnie, the hunter stabbed her." Jeremy replied, anxiously, his voice airy and out of breath. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "You have to feed her." _

_Desperately she gripped at his arm again. "Okay, I just need to be sure that you're okay first."_

_"No, I'm fine!" He insisted panic flooding his features. Then, it turned to confusion and slight anger. "What are you doing?" Katherine turned back and gestured towards the lifeless Silas. _

_"The cure." She breathed out kindly and reasonably, trying to match Elena's tone of voice. "It's right there."  
"It'll be there after you help Bonnie."_

_Then she snapped, and felt her instincts take over with furious, hot, anger. _

_"God, I forgot what a brat you are!" She snarled through gritted teeth. The Gilbert boy tenses, then turned back to look at her in puzzlement and alarm. "What?" _

_"I'm done playing nice." Katherine said calmly, though inside she was battling irritation that was flourishing through her. She threw him across the room, and let her Vampirism instincts take over. She tossed him swiftly and easily to Silas. Slit his arm-_

_And the last thing she remembered was the redness. _

_From the blood on his neck._

* * *

That was a time she cried, only it was from guilt.

* * *

The pain.

The guilt.

Her past.

Her choices.

The consequences.

Her fate.

Her destiny.

It was all too much.

Her knees buckled and she grasped onto the grave for support.

Sure she despised Elena, but she was her _family_.

Her blood, her great, great, great, great (etc.) granddaughter. Her whole family had died. And now, she had killed the last of Elena's.

Turns out the Petrova's were all doomed to the same fate.

* * *

_And so she ran, she sprinted down the pathway through the almost pitch black forest. Though, with her new Vampire abilities Katherine could see everything. Her legs flew along the woods, going quicker, feeling more powerful, than she had ever had._

_Her eyes analyzed in on the tipped over carriage laying by the front of her house. _

_There were dead bodies strung about, wheelbarrows tipped sideways, glass shattered. This was intentional. And although she already knew the answer, and although her hope was slowly draining she kept going onward towards her house._

_Unable to hold herself back any longer she saw her house, flung the door opened and screeched._

_He was pinned up against the wall, a pitchfork stabbed through his stomach. She could smell the blood, it was intoxicating. Katherine could also see that he was dead. Holding her weight to the door all she could do to murmur was, "no."_

_Bodies were everywhere._

_Her family._

_Hers... gone._

_"No. No mama!" She flung herself over to the bed, and hugged her mother tightly. Dried blood was coated along her throat, along with her stomach. _

_She couldn't see anything, it was all too blurry. _

_The pain, it was unimaginable. She held back shrieks of agony, as she clutched onto her dead mother. Shock overwhelmed her and she resisted the urge to revolt right there and now. _

_They had to come back!_

_"No! NO!"_

* * *

That was a time when she cried, only it was from overwhelming sorrow.

* * *

"Kill me. Kill me now!" Her voice screeched agonizingly, and it echoed around the graveyard, sending crows squawking hysterically and their wings battering purposively in retreat. Realization pounded into her chest, so hard that it knocked the breath out of her lungs. Hot tears were streaming, no pouring down her face.

This wasn't right. She was supposed to be the one making other people cry in hopelessness, not the other way around.

She hated herself.

She had killed.

She had tortured.

She had manipulated.

She had ruined innocent soul's lives.

She had ruined her own, from the moment she had slept with that man who was selling milk in Bulgaria. Katherine gasped for air, almost as if she was drowning herself.

She knew what she wanted, what she craved. Yet, unlike blood, she craved this so much more than it.

Katherine Peirce wanted her baby.

Her baby girl.

She was hers. No one else's.

But now she couldn't have her.

* * *

_"A little more dearest... a little more!" Her mothers' coaxing voice said, cutting through the fog that was suffocating her. It felt as if sharp knives were erupting everywhere on her stomach and down below. "Push, a little more!" And so Katherine did, but she knew what would happen once the baby left her womb. They would take it away._

_Half hesitant, she began to push, clenching her jaw tightly. _

_"A little more, push!"_

_She pushed as hard as she could, and relaxed when she heard the infant's high pitched cries echo throughout the room. Out of the corner of her big brown eyes, she saw her father standing there, watching over the scene greedily. A flash of anger sparked throughout her, but disappeared when she saw the baby resting in her mother's arms. _

_She breathed heavily, sweat beaded across her forehead. "It's a girl." Her mother's eyes shimmered with happiness and Katherine couldn't quite believe that she had just created... life. _

_"A girl?" She asked, not entirely sure she heard correctly._

_Her mother nodded, and Katherine outstretched her arms. "Please ... mother... let me see her." Her voice was desperate, and laced with eagerness to hold her daughter. Hope raised up against her chest as her mother began to hand her off to Katherine. _

_"Woman, don't!" Her father barked, and both her mother and Katherine flinched at his words. "What are you doing?" Regret filled her mother's eyes as she began to recoil her arms from her, and turn towards her father. _

_The desperation was intense now, she leaned up in bed, as her father cradled _her_ baby in his arms. "Let me at least hold her once... just once...at least once!" Her father's head tilted around, as if finally realizing that she was in the room. _

_"Forget it!" Sharp anger was plastered on his features. "You have disgraced this family!" He then began to walk out of her room._

_"Father please!"_

_No! NO! NO! This wasn't happening, Katherine wouldn't. In one last act to save her child, she swung her feet over the side of the bed trying to get up._

_"No father, no!" Her mother stopped her midway, restraining her, and she was much too weak to resist against._

_"No Katerina, it's better for her, Katerina!" Her mother reasoned. _

_Instead of fighting against her mother's will, she leaned against her crying tears of desperation, frustration, and grief._

_She felt her own mother's tears, soaking into her gown. _

_"No, mother! Please!"_

_"Let her go, Katerina! Let her go!"_

* * *

That was a time she cried, from loss.

* * *

She stood up, and slowly fingered the words on the headstone one last time.

* * *

_Katerina Peirce  
(Katherine Peirce)_

_1473- 1472_

_Loving mother._

* * *

**A/N: I hoped you liked it! This was my first TVD fanfic, and I really hope that it was good and that you enjoyed it. Katherine has always been my favorite character on the show (besides Damon) because she seems cold stone, but in reality she's hurt. She has practically gone through hell and back, and still manages to keep her sanity along the way. I think she is amazing. I know a lot of people are giving her hate, because she killed Jeremy (I love Jeremy, Btw) and this is basically a fanfic defending her. So, read and review! **

**I don't own TVD.  
(but I wish that I did) **


End file.
